Same Road Different Feelings

Ok, I must confess this is not the road I will be writing about- but I would have looked stupid taking a picture of the bike path! This is actually the road into the Lutheran Camp the kids went to last week. I guess I'm pretty dorky for taking a picture of that?? I'm glad a tree didn't jump out in front of the car!

The road I'm writing about is the bike path in Rochelle. For the last two years I've been roller blading on that path and as I began my third summer on it- I had a epiphany!

I began roller blading WAAYY back when I was a teenie bopper. My friend in High school- Debbie got me started. We'd go all the time- and I loved it. Of course as all things happen- my roller blading days got interrupted by having children and life's daily chores- there was no time for one of my favorite activities anymore. About two summers ago I decided to buy some new blades. The funny thing that I realized today was that was exactly two summers ago when my life began falling apart. I would head out to the path every evening to get away from my family. I needed time alone- and also needed to do something that I used to love to do. I would think about things and relieve some stress along with it. It was the time in my life when things were so confusing which led to a bout with depression. It was also the time I got an IPod- (Yeah, I know I'm a little behind the times!) I started downloading (or uploading?) some of my favorite songs. I wrote down some of the lyrics of the songs that I was listening to at the time- you might recognize some of them or none:

how many times can I break until I shatter over the line I can find what I'm after..I always turn the car around

where were you when everything was fallin apart lost and insecure you found me lying on the floor- why'd you have to wait? just a little late you found me

i'd walk a thousand miles just to see you tonight

I know it aches and your heart it breaks you can only take so much...walk on you've got to leave it behind- walk on you're strong

is it getting better or do you feel the same will it make it easier on you if you've got someone to blame did i ask to much more than a lot you gave me nothing and that's all i got we hurt eachother and we do it again i can't be holdin on to what you've got if all you've got is hurt

I maybe should have picked some peppier music? I wouldn't had been so depressed perhaps? But that's were I was those days.

So what's the epiphany you ask? Well, last week when I headed out with the same blades on, on the same path with the same music on the Ipod- I felt PEACE! Those same words in those songs didn't effect me the same way. I didn't feel depressed, regret, or anger. I just felt peace. I was stagnet for two years on that same road with my songs and I finally can see that I have moved on> only with God's help- mind you. I wouldn't be writing about these things if God hadn't heard my prayers and also the prayers from others. I know that a lot of people were praying for me- and I'd like to share with you that they helped!

So with that- I will continue listening to my IPod- maybe download a little Lady GAGA and let it roll!

Peace